(re) Define: Resolutions

Happy New Year from Potentia 2015

This time of year is famous (or infamous) for resolutions.

Usually these resolutions involve language like:

  • more
  • less
  • start
  • stop
  • lose
  • change
  • balance
  • enough
  • no
  • yes

Goals are good. Intentions are important. Hope is crucial when we want to grow, heal and do life differently.

But sometimes we make some well-meaning errors in setting our goals, intentions, resolutions. They often are:

  • too rigid
  • unrealistic
  • not specific
  • too complicated
  • developed based what you think you need but not what you really need
  • leaning only on willpower instead of a collaborative community of support
  • not safe
  • not fun or enjoyable
  • developed out of impatience, fear or shame
  • not connected to your core values

Making desired changes in your life that are sustained need to be safe, practiced regularly and fueled by meaning and motivation.  (Click to Tweet)

Your goals, resolutions and intentions need to be inspired by your core values – not on an ideal identity you desire to hide behind as protection.

Yes, dream big.

Then scaffold your dreams into small actionable practices that will fuel more change, growth, fruits of your labors and healing.

It starts with showing up and asking for support from people you can trust.

Pacing desired change is also important when seeking sustained change.

The pain of loneliness, discomfort in your body, fear of rejection or failure can influence the resolutions you choose.

Turn away from numbing, hurting self or others and begin to build the emotional muscle to tolerate vulnerability.

Sometimes people numb out with the wrong resolutions thinking they will get sustained relief from pain if ______ happens.

What you desire to change is a very personal decision.

Desiring sustained change – not numbing out – involves leaning into vulnerability: risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure – as defined by Brené Brown.

And to be clear – there is nothing comfortable about being in the space of vulnerability.

At Potentia, we offer (re) Define Courage workshops to help people build a life long shame resilience practice so shame and non-protective fear do not run the choices you make in your life.

Our team also offers specialized support for those who desire change in their relationships with food, their body, their story and their relationships with God, self and others.

(In addition to offering individual, couples and family therapy, our team is launching several workshops this month. Make sure to save your spot soon!)

When distressing life events occur, your brain is made to move towards healing.

And when your brain gets stuck in working through the tough stuff of life, it is easy to get confused on how to deal with pain, fear, desire, hope and meaningful connection.

The psychotherapists at Potentia incorporate EMDR therapy into our work with clients so the process of getting unstuck has an evidenced-based road map customized to each client.

As you kick off 2015 with your goals, resolutions and intentions, make sure they are connected to your core values and can be regularly practiced.

If you have health or wellness related goals, contact Dr. Megan Holt for an in-person or Skype non-diet wellness assessment so you can cut through the marketing noise of the diet industry and develop goals that are best suited for your unique body and lifestyle.

And be careful to not compare your goals for change to the goals and resolutions of others.

Comparison is a general buzz kill to change.

You are the expert on you. Never forget that.

As you seek collaborative support and sustained change, the Potentia Team is here as a support and resource for you. It would be an honor to help you make 2015 a year of living in clarity and purpose.

____

What are you resolutions, goals, intentions for 2015?

What support do you need to meet your goals?

Cheering you on in 2015 –

Rebecca Bass-Ching, LMFT

 

You are invited! Potentia Celebration + Open House

I know there is never a lack of events, meetings, parties and kid activities to add to your calender but I am hoping those of you in the San Diego area can squeeze in some time to drop by our Celebration and Open House next Friday, October 24th between 4-8PM.

It will be a great time to not only see the new workshop/play therapy space and meet the new Potentia therapists but also to connect with other friends and colleagues from the community.

Great food – including a pumpkin “everything” spread – and  a chance to win some fun raffle prizes are added bonuses for stopping by our gathering.

Please register if you can attend so we can plan accordingly.

With gratitude –

Rebecca

OpenHouseFlier-graphic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Potentia is 6!

Potentia is turning 6

Several years ago, I had this picture in my head of a beautiful space where people could receive collaborative and specialized care all under the same roof. Six years ago this month, Potentia’s incorporation papers were filed and the dream started to take fruition.

I can laugh now but looking back six years ago, things were a little nutty. My first born was just a little over 2 months and I was clumsily learning how to integrate all of my new loves and passions on very little sleep.

Today, I am a little more rested. And my family has grown along with Potentia.

I am in awe and filled with gratitude looking at how the seed of a vision planted in my heart + mind has turned into something so much more.

As we celebrate our six year milestone, we are in the process of expanding: more office space, new clinical team members – including two male therapists – and new service offerings such as individual and group consultations on EMDR and Eating Disorders (CEDS) along with Child Centered Play Therapy.

Even our website is in the process of getting freshened up.

Whew!

And I am pleased to introduce you to five therapists who are a part of this season of Potentia’s growth: Moe Perdomo, Hannah Branch, Brian Resiwg, Kayla Walker and Roxanne Strauss.

Look at them all spiffy here…

Interns formal 2014

And here they are showing their brave and getting a little silly. Silly is so good for the soul!

Interns silly 2014

These new interns are joining me and our veteran Potentia team members:

The Potentia team is equipped with an understanding of:

  • the brain
  • non-diet approaches to wellness
  • the power of your story (owning, respecting and telling it)
  • the influences of shame and vulnerability

so we can be the best support to people seeking meaning in their struggles and desiring sustained relief from their pain.

All of our psychotherapy clinicians are trained in EMDR, which is an approach that helps people who are stuck because of tough life events, anxiety, depression, compulsive behaviors, loss, blocking beliefs, perfectionism and more. We also have therapists who offer specialized support with:

  • Shame Resilience and The Daring Way TM method
  • Food and Body Issues
  • Couples Issues and Premarital Counseling
  • Teen and Family Issues
  • Transition
  • Pastors Kids and Missionary Kids

I am excited to see where this now collective dream takes all of us as we continue to trust, pray, learn, grow and serve.

And to those of you who have a dream on your heart, respect it. Sketch or write it out. Share it with someone who will not talk about all the barriers to your dream but instead be a support to it.

Be careful to not compare it, minimize it or let the desire for certainty squelch your hope. Your dream is precious and it is placed on your heart for a purpose. It may not be logical or make sense. It may be painful to be in the inbetween of it being unfulfilled.

I get it. I wrestled with all of this over the years. Still do. The waiting, the tests of faith, the investment of time and resources, the trust are the refining part of the dream. Pace yourself and stay the course.

Cheering you and your dream on –

Rebecca

PS – Please make sure you are on our email list so you can stay up to date on our offerings, events, blog posts and receive an invitation to our upcoming  fall open house.

 

 

 

Discover the Power of Your Wanted and Unwanted Identities

1. I decided

I am ____________ (fill in the blank).

Many of you can finish the sentence above with a variety of descriptors and attributes. The core beliefs about your identity directly impact how you make decisions in your relationships, at school, work, and in life.

Culture, your family of origin, your faith community, schools, and places of work are constantly communicating messages about your worth and value.

Some of these messages are negative and challenge your ability to see your true worth and value.

And at some point, you start believing some of the negative messages shifting your lens on yourself and the world.

You are not alone. We all wrestle with negative core beliefs about our identity. Sometimes these negative beliefs are screaming at top volume between your ears while other negative beliefs are a quiet whisper that nag at you daily.

Regardless of the volume, inaccurate core identity beliefs can lead to unsafe and broken relationships, isolation, eating issues, addictions, chronic pain, depression, and anxiety.

Usually our negative beliefs come from experiences in our story and have taken root in our brains in an effort to keep us safe but end up working against us.  Most of these negative beliefs fall into one of the following categories:

  • I am not enough/I am not _____ enough
  • I am not not safe
  • I am not capable/in control

Our upcoming (re) define Identity workshop will help you:

  1. identify your ideal and unwanted identities
  2. build awareness on how you respond when you are seen in ways you desire and fear
  3. narrow down the core negative beliefs that are keeping you stuck in your relationship with yourself, God, and others, launching you into the process of reclaiming your true identity, worth, and value.

For those seeking to dig deeper and and get unstuck with struggles around your core identity, I recommend finding a practitioner certified (or in process of certification) in EMDR.  This is a powerful psyhchotherapeutic approach that has changed the way I conceptualize cases, approach trauma and all distressing life events.  You can find a local practitioner in your area here.

Space is limited at our upcoming (re) define Identity workshop on September, so register soon if you are interested.

ReDefineIdentity

We cover this material more extensively in our cornerstone Workshop: (re) define Courage: Dare to Show up+Be Seen (formerly Cultivating Courage).

redefine-courage-slide

Our September Weekend Intensive has sold out but there are still spots available in the Nov 1-3 weekend intensive.  January dates for weekend intensives and weekly workshops will be going live soon.  Sign up here to be the first to know about these dates.

 

Enjoy the last days of summer and all the best to those transitioning back to school!

Rebecca