— Brené Brown
You have a life of meaning and purpose to live. Tolerating vulnerability is crucial to achieving this goal – which is tricky because the brain categorizes vulnerability as dangerous. Potentia’s cornerstone workshop helps individuals desiring to take the insights of the research of Brené Brown to action by developing a personalized shame resilience practice based on your unique story and personal + professional needs today. You will deepen your understanding of the impact of trauma + family of origin, shame, courage, fear, and empathy have on your life so you can improve how you show up in all areas of your life connected to those who truly matter with clarity on your core values.
What would it feel like to live a better story where conflict does not level you, but instead, informs you?
You are a leader, an entrepreneur, a parent, a student, a businessperson, a teacher, a therapist, a creative. You crave deeper connection with family, friends, your faith — and deeper connection with yourself, your story (both the beautiful and messy parts), and your core values. You want to feel more confidence in your personal and professional life. You know that in order to make a bigger impact with your life’s work — from parenthood to teaching to ministry to leading, to serving to creating you art — you’ve got to be willing to show up and be seen. Not in how you think you should be seen but as your unique self so you can make your art.
— Brené Brown
Everyone deals with shame.
We all have triggers and soft spots — memories and moments that take us back to unpleasant places.
(re) define Courage will equip you with the tools to identify your unique shame triggers and redirect your emotions toward empathy, connection, and grace.
This workshop is a place for you to access your courage and begin living with more connection, peace, and authenticity.
It’s time to stop shame from hijacking your dreams, your creativity, your sense of worth and intrinsic value.
Researcher and author Brené Brown says shame is a clever foe; it makes itself very difficult to be defined. We embrace Brené’s definition of shame as useful for helping us name this foe to living a connected life. As she says, “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.”
Shame isolates us and makes us feel we’re the only one.
We invite you to tell shame it no longer can rule your life.
HOW will we do this work of building shame resilience?
Your life is the map. Your triggers and soft spots are the clues. Courage, vulnerability, empathy, and gratitude are the keys. You will learn how to use these keys in a manageable way so you can turn insight into actionable change. Along the way, you’ll experience the power of community and creativity while learning and practicing the tools to live a life of courage, meaning, authenticity, gratitude and vulnerability.
About Your Facilitator:
I’m Rebecca Bass-Ching, LMFT, MFC #44584, Certified Daring Way TM Facilitator+Consultant and Director of Potentia Family Therapy. I present this work because it’s made such an enormous difference in my own life, personally and professionally. I’ve become a better wife, mom, friend, and clinician because of my exposure to Brené Brown’s research.
I’ve dealt with my share of shame and pain, too. I spent much of my life in fear of being found out. I hid behind the masks of perfection and people pleasing. I knew how to work hard; I was smart, I had a big heart. (Still do.) Growing up, I was told I shouldn’t get too big for my britches and when I dared to dream big and use my voice, I was shot down. And the echos of the hurts of those seasons stayed with me for a long time. Doing my own work around shame unearthed the remnants needed to help me in my own therapeutic journey. I look at my story — the parts filled with darkness, the pain, the disconnection I lived with at times — and I’m grateful this work helped me name something that needed to be named: shame.
Today, I’m loving life more than I ever have. (Not saying I have a perfect life, but I don’t need one in order to be joyful — and neither do you.) I see clients respond favorably to shame resilience work by taking the head knowledge they develop from this work and put it into action is ways that are meaningful to their story and goals.
Participants of the (re) define Courage 3-Day Weekend Intensives/Weekly Workshop will receive:
- a pre-group placement session with Rebecca, if you have not previously worked with her, to ensure the best cohort placement
- a personalized binder with all worksheets, exercises, handouts, and reading assignments, including room for personal notes and reflections
- surprise gifts and artifacts that will be positive reminders and support after the workshop experience
- thoughtful placement into a cohort of men and women who will help support each other’s growth
- access to Potential Family Therapy’s Art Bar for creative assignments, plus a take home Creative Starter Kit
- never ending coffee, tea, and filtered water along tasty snacks and meals
- automatic admission into the (re) define Courage Alumni Community
- group yoga class
Weekend Intensive Only:
- a delicious catered breakfast and lunch, plus mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks, from some of San Diego’s premier whole, fresh, sustainable, and organic restaurants
- group yoga class.
- time for additional self-care outside of workshop time: meet with a registered dietician, indulge in a massage, or participate in yoga therapy, all available to be scheduled at your hotel or home.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What will the format of the Weekly Workshop/Weekend Intensive be? How will the content be delivered?
A: (re) define Courage content is presented in a multi-media, multi-disciplinary format to support different learning style (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, etc.). Activities and content formats will include: brief lecture, video clips from Brené Brown, workshops, binder of written materials, books by Brené Brown, in-group discussion, collage, letter-writing, experiential group and break out sessions, private FB community before and after the workshop intensive, and down time for self-care outside of therapy workshop time. No matter what kind of a learner you are, you’ll find ways to access the material that work best for you.
The Weekly Workshop format is two hours for the duration of 8 weeks. The Weekend Intensive format is three consecutive days usually Thursday – Saturday. Schedule flights after 5PM on Saturday and make sure you arrive in San Diego by 4PM on Thursday.
Q: Is this like group therapy? Will people be encouraged to get openly emotional?
A: (re) define Courage is a therapeutic and experiential program run by a licensed therapist. It will not always feel like plunging the depths of your soul. However, there will be times when people will drop in, get real, and give light to parts of their story that are sensitive. People may share their fears and deep vulnerabilities. Someone’s story may bring up raw emotion, for either the storyteller or someone hearing it. (That person could be you!) We do go deep, and yes, it is a therapeutic setting. Some moments during the weekend will feel hard. Some moments will feel light and freeing. It will all be powerful.
No one will goad, manipulate, exhort, or “force” you to be emotional in any way that isn’t coming naturally to you. The space we create is all about safety. You choose to participate and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable. Seriously, you can pass on sharing at any time and that is OK – in fact this is an important understanding of the workshop experience.
Q: Will this Weekly Workshop/Weekend Intensive permanently “fix” my feelings of shame?
A: We are not promising a permanent “fix” to negative emotions, because negative emotions are simply a part of life. After (re) define Courage, you will still experience hurt. You will still struggle. But when shame, fear, and disconnection threaten your sense of worthiness, you will now have actionable tools that make dealing with shameful feelings more in line with your values. You will learn how to stop disconnecting from others and from yourself, blaming or attacking when you’re feeling shame. To use a computer metaphor, you will learn how to come back “online” sooner and not feel like you sense of core worth is zapped.
Q: Can the secret to overcoming shame really be taught?
A: There is no secret to overcoming shame. There is empathy. Empathy is the antidote to shame. Empathy is a learned skill that each of us has to practice. In this workshop intensive, you’ll learn how the power of empathy to work on shame wounds. You’ll learn how to specifically practice empathy in ways that you keep you connected to yourself, to others, and to life, rather than letting shameful feelings take you out of commission. You’ll learn the role of boundaries (not walls) in healthy, thriving personal and professional relationships.
Q. What is the big deal about doing this work with a trained The Daring Way™ professional? Can’t anyone lead this work?
Good question. Choosing who will lead you in the launch of your life-long shame resilience practice is an important decision. Brené Brown and her team developed a very thoughtful and specialized training to ensure the highest ethical and professional standards are practiced when leading people in developing their shame resilience practice. Shame work is trauma work. Finding a clinician who is a part of The Daring Way™ community ensures you are working with someone who has developed both head and heart mastery of this important work.
Q: I’m terrified of people/being vulnerable with a group of people I don’t know. Can I still benefit from attending even if I’m super shy, socially awkward, suffer from social anxiety, or really don’t like sharing things with people I don’t know?
A: The beauty of being human is that we all can relate to the experience of feeling not quite good enough. While you may be shy, feel awkward, or even deal with socially-induced panic and anxiety, please know that everyone in the group will likely feel uncomfortable to some degree, at some point during the (re) define Courage experience. It’s possible that others in the group may share the exact same experiences with shyness and fear that you do. It’s possible that someone who appears more ‘outgoing’ or comfortable may find your extra level of vulnerability refreshing, because it gives them permission to be vulnerable, too. Breakout sessions will allow for more time to share in more depth. We all need compassionate witnesses as we redefine our relationships to shame. You may feel awkward or uncomfortable at times, and you may even need to leave the room for a few minutes to breathe (and that’s okay), but we ask that you remain willing to be in the process.
Q: I’m not sure I feel good about spending money on personal development. Please help me justify this to myself.
A: We support you, as a potential client, in being financially responsible, and we’re glad you’re taking care to make sure this is a wise investment for you right now. We want you to be clear on the difference between concern about whether this is a good use of your funds at this time, or if your hesitation is more about resistance, fear, and judgment keeping you from taking the leap to attend (re) define Courage.
We are on to shame and we know it’s trying to convince you it’s protecting you. It says, “Don’t sign up for this workshop. People there will judge you. You do not want to talk about your feeeeeeelings with others. They will not get it. They will not get you. They will think you are dumb, too much, too ____. DO NOT BE SEEN AS WEAK. Run from this opportunity, STAT!”
In truth, shame has nothing to say to you but lies that are toxic and devastating. Shame wants to keep you separate from the connection and compassion you’re worthy of.
The appropriate response to shame is courage. The courage to be vulnerable shapes how we parent, learn, lead, manage, minister, communicate, and connect. And for you, that may start with the courage to invest in this experience for yourself.
If after your initial call with Rebecca you feel like this is not the best decision for you, we will totally honor your desire to wait and refund your registration fee.
Q: I’m not sure I have the time to do this. How much time will I need to invest, and can you promise me it’ll be worth it?
A: First, see the answer to the question above, except swap in ‘time’ for ‘money.’ 🙂
We all live full lives with a lot of commitments and demands. This is one reason why we offer (re) define Courage as a Weekend Intensive and as a Weekly Intensive.
Our three Weekend or Weekly Intensive days are carefully planned to allow for learning, group work, individual work, and downtime.
For the Weekend Intensive, you can expect to be on site for workshop between the hours of 3:30PM-8PM on Friday, 8:30-5PM on Saturday and 8-2/3PM on Sunday. There are activities available for participants before and after the workshop day, but these are optional to share. We recommend you use your out-of-workshop time for the completion of homework assignments, reflection, and self-care.
The Weekly Intensives will be three designated consecutive Fridays from 2-8PM.
We trust you to attend this workshop when it’s the right time for you. If now is not the right time, there will be regular offerings available for you to choose from when the time is right for you.
Q: I don’t believe in this vulnerability stuff and I’m really resistant to sharing my feelings, or hearing about other people’s feelings. Is this workshop for me?
A: Resistance to vulnerability is very natural and very human. But we all experience vulnerability whether we acknowledge it or not. All of us experience resistance at some point during the process of examining hurts in our story. Your pre-session with Rebecca can help answer any questions or concerns you have about attending (re) define Courage. If after this meeting, you decide this is not for you, you will receive a full refund.
Have a question that’s not answered here? Email me, Rebecca, and I’ll be in touch within 2 business days.
You can choose between an 8-week Workshop or hunker down and attend one of our three-day Weekend Intensives or Weekly Intensives. Available dates and formats, details, and payment options are listed below.
And if you are interested in having us come to you for a Weekend Intensive on your turf, email firstname.lastname@example.org with dates, size of group, budget and location details.
Location: Potentia Family Therapy
Day and Time: TBD
Location: Potentia Family Therapy
Day and Time: June 15-17, 2017
- $800 for an individual spot
- $350 for RDC alumni
Note: If you are an MFT trainee or Intern, this workshop can be counted as personal counseling hours. Also, if your insurance covers group therapy and you have a PPO, we can give you a super bill to request reimbursement directly from your insurance company – though the decision to reimburse is up to your insurance company. We do not bill insurance directly and we are out-of-network providers.
Questions? Email us and we’ll get back to you within 2 business days.
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About Brené Brown
The Daring Way TM method is based on the research of Brené Brown Ph.D. LMSW. Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past twelve years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Her groundbreaking research has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, The Katie Show, and Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday.
Brené is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the way we Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (2012), the New York Times Bestseller, The Gifts of Imperfection (2010) and I Thought It Was Just Me (2007).
Brené’s 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks in the world, with over 11 million viewers. Additionally, Brené gave the closing talk at the 2012 TED conference where she talked about shame, courage, and innovation.